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    December 02

    太子与大腿——这其实是一个哲理故事

    来自: 文盲也得上网 (上海)

    原文:豆瓣


       说起来,郭靖其实是个太子党:从小跟着铁木真混,未成年就当上了驸马了,真正的有权有势。所以说当郭靖邂逅黄蓉,一出手就是名牌时装(貂皮大衣),红色宝马,平常人家哪有这么阔绰。宝马虽然也没值几个钱,但在我们天朝上国,它一直是强横霸道的象征,女性开宝马尤其拉风。因此只一合,便将黄蓉的芳心斩于马下了。(不信?您也可以这样试试。)
       所以后来黄老邪逼婚,表面上看,欧阳克又帅又有才,还有个在西北地区当黑窑主开发生化武器的化学阿里老爸撑腰,条件是相当不错;可终究是个土豪暴发户,和郭靖蒙古海归,高干子弟,黑社会准头子(丐帮帮主唯一指定衣钵传人)的光环比起来还是逊色不少的,所谓傍上土豪,心惊肉跳;粘住阔少,强塞股票。就算郭的头脑愚笨些,那也没什么大不了的,管个家庭罢了(还未必轮得着管),也不需要什么文成武德的。再说晋朝有个惠帝,从小服用脑白金,也照样好好地当着皇帝,还讲了个“何不食肉糜”的冷笑话让大家乐了好几千年。于是乎,两人顺理成章,门当户对,你情我愿,生米熟饭地相互从了。
       也因着桃花岛广泛的社会关系和人脉资源,郭老板练练功,挖挖宝,发发呆,犯犯傻,没事磕个白驼山壮骨粉什么的。最后跌跌撞撞终于也成了天朝杰出的马克思主义政治活动家和军事艺术家。
      当然,这种梦幻般的Chinese dream的确还只是个出身决定命运式的成功,没什么参考性,因此后来又有了杨过的故事。
       相比之下,杨过就比较倒霉。出身便不好:亲爹是被打倒的反动派,干爹是化学阿里。好不容易抱上太子党这个粗大腿,却不被他家人赏识。要知道郭靖虽然是太子党,却是吃软饭的,多半是靠了老婆的social connection才发迹的。所以既然老婆不满意,只好挥泪斩马稷,把杨过送到了反人类反社会的大型垄断500强独资恐怖主义邪教组织全真派。杨过对人浮于事,欺上瞒下的腐败官僚作风很是不适应,便寻思着要上访,却不料中间生出许多周折,最后还把自己搞成了残疾人。
       没钱没权,无车无房,身患绝症,还废了一只手,老婆也跑了;普通人遇上这种打击一般不是跳断肠崖,便是变得象T-bag一般愤世嫉俗了。所谓时危见臣节,世乱识忠良,我们的杨大虾不愧是主角,从小接受党的教育,关键时刻深入贯彻和大力发扬了身残志坚的革命乐观主义大无畏精神,不但自学成才,还搞了架炯炯有神的私人飞机,这玩意比宝马可稀罕多了。所以杨大虾就这么飞来飞去,寻衅滋事,四处显摆,招蜂引蝶,割鼻子砍耳朵,终于又感动了老婆,破镜重圆了!小两口一高兴还顺便暗杀了敌对国家的皇帝和保镖,从此你行我也行,就这么扬名立万了。
       这样糅合了American Dream式的价值理念的故事实在是个与时俱进,催人向上的好故事。它犹如冬天里的一阵西北风,让我身上一凉,脑子一冷,醍醐灌顶般地领悟到一个简单而深刻,朴素却实用的人生哲理:如果你不是太子党,那千万别指望抱大腿(不管那根大腿有多粗),而是一定要努力做本拉登!

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